The Found *NSYNC Fan Fiction Radio Hour We read aloud pages of one author’s *NSYNC fan fiction, from a binder found at a thrift store. With piano accompaniment!


In the Found *NSYNC Fan Fiction Radio Hour, we chronologically read aloud pages of an anonymous author's *NSYNC fan fiction, from a binder found at a thrift store.

In this episode we welcome a guest! Sarah, who found the binder that we read from! The script today provides a real roller coaster of an episode, where Kelly receives a letter from her ex (delivered via Sarah Michelle Geller) with an update about how he has moved on but can never forget her. Then there is blood, a hospital and a major impulse buy.

Also in this episode: tumeric tea, getting the chocolate the fuck out of the peanut butter, the theme to Proud Family, actress/January 1999 Playmate Jaime Bergman, the casualness with which famous names are thrown around, spontaneously erupting into songs from Sister Act, slant rhymes being only for people who are confident, a voice that is the bridge between sad puppy and Nixon, the inability to tell the difference between a four month old baby and four month old fetus, Back To the Shit by Millie Jackson.

Here's the fake dog nose we talk about in this episode, that we said we'd post. Woof!


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In The Found *NSYNC Fan Fiction Radio Hour, we chronologically read aloud pages of one author's *NSYNC fan fiction, from a binder found at a thrift store. As usual, we question the author’s grammatical choices, enjoy irrelevant notes in the margins, all the while Sacha accompanies us on his keyboard.

In this episode, Joey Fatone and Kelly (the narrator of the story) drive down to Florida to reunite with the rest of the members of *NSYNC at the band’s compound, looking forward to sharing the news about Kelly’s pregnancy with Joey’s parents. Once there, some kind of trainer or choreographer named Wade is subjecting *NSYNC to extreme workouts, yet Joey still finds the energy to enthusiastically flirt with Kelly. In order to give our full attention to both performing the text from the binder and hash out exactly what is going on, we make our way through potent caffeinated beverages from New Wave Cafe in Logan Square in Chicago. We postulate a new theory about the origins of the material in the binder, and it’s a doozy! Plus! New found notes in the margins that lead to hot leads and speculation about the anonymous author!


Also in this episode: Picardy thirds, lime Jello-cream cheese dessert with Vitamix, fan fiction read ASMR-style, Chicago street sweepers, the usual puzzling choice of stage direction placement in the text, I’m Not a Girl Not Yet a Woman as a proposed national anthem, platinum edging, “I can feel you breathe” on the inside of ring, Silent Night as background music, Connie Chung’s meltdown, murder ballads, the notion that there is a higher probability of the binder being written by an artificial intelligence than Lance from *NSYNC actually being entertaining to anybody, a town in Illinois called Kenilworth.


We said we’d post a picture of something we couldn’t read. We think it might say, “Thanks for the saxe.” is it possible the writer spelled sex wrong? You be the judge.


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In Found *NSYNC Fan Fiction, we chronologically read aloud pages of one author's *NSYNC fan fiction, from a binder found at a thrift store.

This episode features Joey and Kelly arguing about who makes what noises in bed while trying to not disturb Justin Timberlake. And boy is he tired of Britney’s high maintenanceness. Russel Crowe is spotted at the deli!

The anonymous author’s handwriting is both praised and criticized, many ounces of coffee from Cafe Mustache are consummed, and most importantly, “Pop sensation” Sacha Mullin continues to do weird accents and sounds like he forgot English and then has relearned it specifically for this episode, while simultaneously skillfully accompanying on his piano.

Also not to be missed in this episode: bagels, singing melancholy songs in front of a bouncy house at an ice cream social, the Blue RIbbon Glee Club, hitting a G# by accident, Fuman Skeeto, putting both limes and lions in coconuts, mispronoucning words at integral moments, laughing so hard one puts one’s head down on the piano, donkey videos on Youtube, that SexyBack sounds like music from Mortal Combat, speculation that binder we’re reading from is actually the Necronomicon or maybe Marvel’s Darkhold book.

Find us here on I-tunes too!


November 18, 2014  

An investigation into when celebrities have no business sharing their food expertise do so anyway.

A small sampling of relevant subtopics in Ray of Blight #6 Celebrity Cooking: Cheeto Casserole * Recipes from a Bygone Era: Tuna + Egg * Phyllis DIller's Chicken Maui * American food sentiment: Ketchup, Sauce, Heat and Alcohol * Sacha's Theory: Everyone Has a Chicken Dish * ghost cookbook writers * cookbooks in the style of a fictional persona * married vs hitched * cracking an egg badly and spreading the mess to a wider surface area * falling asleep with a half eaten cookie * the superiority of shredded cheese* the part of the grocery store that's like Epcot Center * British Celebrity Chefs * The Beverly Hillbillies * judgment of Sacha's messy walk-in pantry, and much, much more.

…Plus, we make Irene Ryan's Spicy Corn Bread, and it's delicious. It should be. There's an entire stick of butter in there.


September 21, 2014  

We birthed a monster!!!! NSYNC Fan Fiction started out as its own segment on Ray of Blight, but it has now been given its own life. All for you (and for us because we enjoy it so), here's what we do on each episode: we chronologically read aloud pages of one author's NSYNC fan fiction, from a binder found at a thrift store in Chicago. We have not read ahead, so you're experiencing each page with us IN REAL TIME.

Yeah yeah yeah, the last episode of Ray of Blight was the fifth episode, but it included the fourth installment of NSYNC Fan Fiction. That's why this is labelled as the fifth episode for NSYNC Fan Fiction. Try not to cry. Oh fine, here's a tissue.

February 3, 2014  

This episode: Join us as we investigate songs that sound the same, while we enjoy Popped Roasted Red Pepper Crisps and Diet Dr. Pepper. Plus an interview with our friend who found the *NSYNC Fan Fiction binder!

A small sampling of relevant subtopics in Ray of Blight #5 Song Trees + Genetics: The Sugababes Overloaded: Can You Feel the White Rabbit of Ennio Morricone? * Madonna's Frozen Loophole * The Sensitive Female Chord Progression: Beyoncé & Joan Osborne * The Benevolent Daft Punk Robots * Goldfrapp vs Van Halen * Nirvana vs Killing Joke * Girls Aloud * Oasis Buys The World Coke & Plenty of Coke For Themselves Also * Debbie Harry's Throat Frog * Livin' on a Place On Earth * Black Metal vs Billy Joel * A Case Study of Interpolation: Mah Nà Mah Nà in Vanilla's No Way No Way * Huey Lewis & The New Ghostbuster, As Presided by Judge Parker Jr. * Pretty in Pink Wants to Destroy You * Pepper Ann & the Pixies * Tina Turner vs The Velvet Underground * NPR Song of the Day RIP * James Brown Fining Sacha For Continuing to Lean On the Table * Cursive writing * Googling Joey Fatone & Kelly Dating * Ripping Off vs Tribute To * Court Cases * Sacha Imitates a Man Busking on the Blue Line * Sonic Fashion & Regurgitation * Evolving the Song * Artistic Resonance * What Twelve Year Old Girls Think Adult Dating Is Like * Nun Painting

...Now with more snacks!

December 11, 2012  


This episode: songs commissioned for James Bond movies, and what makes them awesome and what does not. Plus, Google Voice Mail Transcription Karaoke, another installment of *NSYNC Fan Fiction and you joining us in laughing ourselves silly.

A small sampling of relevant subtopics in Ray of Blight #4 James Bond Themes: the extravagantly fabulous Dame Shirley Bassey, Gladys Knight in a tux, Tina Turner having a stroke, the likening of Sheryl Crow's thin voice to that of a dying cat, Goldfinger, Mr. Bond being expected to die instead of being expected to talk, live and let pie, Eartha Kitt, Madonna's request that Dr. Freud analyze her defiance of ego, Diamonds Are Forever, Nick Rhodes looking like Bonnie Tyler, the Alicia Keys & Jack White screech fest, Bon Simon LeBon mugging, speculation of potentially mandatory a-ha font, Whedonistas, The Pretenders, The Living Daylights, pauvre Scott Walker, whispering during R. Kelly's Whitney Houston tribute, Jewel Staite, throat singing and cattle calling, Alanis Morissette cramming as many words as possible into a sentence, Lace And Leather vs When Doves Cry, Nancy Sinatra's recording tribulations, correlation vs causation, the mandatory art of "selling it," John Barry, Cher Lloyd grunting, Tom Jones passing out, Adele's Skyfall, Moonraker, Dusty Springfield, Casino Royale, Last FM scrobbling with Wings, Lulu vs Alice Cooper: The Man With The Golden Gun, and much, much more!

During this episode we talk about a few things that we said we would post pictures of. Here they are!

Shirley Bassey, the Queen of James Bond Themes, Performing Goldfinger


A sampling of stills Discussed From the View to a Kill Video





a-ha's opening credit font




you're welcome!

October 1, 2012  

Ray of Blight Celebrity Fragrance Lab

This episode focuses on celebrity fragrances. We did a guerilla smell recon mission with the aid of index cards, plastic bags, a pen and a whole lot of giggling. Also, we have another installment of *NSYNC Fan Fiction, as well as Oops I Did It Again performed karaoke-style with lyrics transcribed by Google Voice Mail. Then we got an equipment upgrade!

A small sampling of relevant subtopics: Britney Spears' Radiance and inner death, celebrity dust and genetics, drum and bass notes, the many extremes of Christina Aguilera, Taylor Swift's eyes, Everybody Wang Chunging, Perfume the movie, Faith Hill and synthetic grapefruit crossover fruit smell, boring ladies named Heidi, Paris vs Perez, Alicia Bridges, Beyonce, Justin Bieber's vulva-shaped fragrance bottle, soda suicide, Céline Dion, Seal's forehead, celebrity perfume marketing, Lady Gaga, a drop of blood and a femur from Angelina Jolie, The Flame by Cheap Trick, The Dollhouse, Jennifer Lopez's Love & Light vs Love & Glamour, SJP mannishly horsin' around with Matthew Broderick, Crazy Train, confusing John Candy with Usher, Innocuous by Phil Collins, Rihanna, the smell of plastic bags and index cards, Hilary Duff's Whipped With Love, spirit mother of Kohl's Daisy Fuentes, Mariah Carey's festive Tinkerbellian Perfume, bubble gum-ish body souffle, retail therapy, nightmares on Fantasy Island.

June 26, 2012  

SpeakAlbumCover.jpg This week we talk about the surreal musical releases offered by actors.

A small sampling of relevant subtopics: Donna Summer, Molly Ringwald, David Hasselhoff, anonymous *Nsync fan fiction, Raise Your Voice staring Hilary Duff, Many Mamas, Many Papas, Esther Rolle, Drunk Text, Minnie Driver, Spotify, Hal featuring Gillian Anderson, Charlotte Rae and Friends, Don Johnson, Ken Nordine, The Alice in Wonderland TV Musical, Celebrity Vinyl by Tom Hamling, Melissa Joan Hart, Yentle, Britney Spears, Jewel Staite, Lindsay Lohan albums, Russell Crowe, You've Got the Touch, Maaya Sakamoto, The Brady Bunch Theme performed jazzy and majestic, Philip K. Dick, Ringo, Jack Wagner, a chocolate lab snout, HR Giger, celebrity classification, well rounded entertainers, The Golden Age of cinema, boy band archetypes, Venn diagrams and more.


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